An outdoor dad’s dilemma: do I really want to head off outdoors when spending time with the family is so much fun?

After a brilliant weeks holiday away with my wife and daughter, I really started to question my constant desire and scheming to get out and explore the outdoors. After all, the time I spent with my family was so much fun and so rewarding in its own right, did I really want to use up my limited free time bumbling around outside when I could spend more time with them?

Since growing up and getting a ‘proper job’ (plus mortgage, bills etc.), I have always beaten myself up about not getting outdoors more frequently and having more adventures. Whilst browsing the Facebook pages and Twitter feeds of my favourite adventurous types (Alastair Humphreys, Sean Conway and Tom Allen to name but a few) I used to feel that I was always flaking on potential days, weekends or even weeks away due to the seemingly unending stream of work deadlines, household jobs and family commitments.

I was a wanna-be, but failed adventurous type.

But, since the birth of my daughter, (she’ll be two soon…where does time go?!) I have found that this failed-adventurer ‘guilt’ has become less and less of an issue. It is incredibly rewarding to watch my daughter develop and so awesome to have the chance to spend time with her and share many great experiences together (see a previous post for just one example). I want to be at home at the weekends to spend time with her and my wife – it’s great fun and we always get outdoors anyway, just on smaller, less epic scale than I used to desire. And my recent week away was so good, and so rewarding in itself that I left our holiday cottage seriously questioning myself: why bother always thinking about getting time outdoors, going off on microadventures and day dreaming about long trips in foreign climes? Things are awesome just where you are.

This train of thought has been incredibly strong and, if I were to follow it, I can see that I will inevitably stop being as active and outdoorsy as I used to be. And as the days have passed since my week away, the sadder I think that would be.

After all, it is important to spend some time on your own, away from your family, no matter how much you love them. Even a short time away, doing something you enjoy, leaves you refreshed and revitalised; ready to tackle the next round of dirty nappies and Gruffalo induced tantrums with a smile on your face.

I also want to keep my passion for the outdoors burning and that desire to do slightly dangerous, fun and ‘character building’ stuff (abseiling down cliffs, sleeping out on Exmoor in a bivvy bag, cycle touring on the cheap…) so that I pass that same passion on to my daughter and encourage her to have fun in outdoors too.

As always, I think it comes down to balance.

I am always going to prioritise time with my wife and daughter because I love them and love spending time with them. However, when I do, its important that I don’t feel ‘guilty’ for not spending that time going off doing daft and adventurous things. In fact, quite the reverse, it shows (I hope!) I am a half decent husband and dad. On the other hand though, I should continue to pop off for the odd half day hike, weekend away or Friday night in a hammock on a hill, and strive to find the time to do things outdoors.

Its a tricky balancing act and one that I definitely need to work on, but as long as my family are happy and I keep that desire to get outdoors going – albeit on a lower burn than years gone by – I think I will ended up being a much happier, more content and less conflicted Wild(ish)dad.